Protect us, St. Patrick

So I worked in the flower beds yesterday afternoon in an attempt to at least start the season grass-free.  We’ll see how long it lasts.  And I’m not done yet.

My yard work followed a too-short nap, which was needed after a very non-restful overnight Saturday.  I dread drinking holidays in this college town, even more so when they fall on a weekend.  Sure enough, at 12:30 I was awakened by the first wave of drunks walking back from the bars downtown.  I got to the window in time to see one of them attempt to stand atop the fire hydrant in the front yard (and to wonder again if we would be liable for his broken ankle or nose) and see another one run across our front yard to our side driveway.  By the time I flew downstairs, the motion detector had been activated at our back door, illuminating a young man urinating in our back yard.  Summoning my inner Barbara Stanwyck, I opened the door and yelled, “Get off my property, you no-good varmint!” or words to that effect.  While I don’t doubt that Barbara would have appeared outside in her nightgown (I did), I think she would have had a rifle (I didn’t) and probably wouldn’t have had a bite guard in her mouth (I did).  I hope my performance was memorable.

I’d like to say I spent the next three sleepless hours productively, but because I was mad and couldn’t breathe — yet another head cold — I mostly moved from room to room in search of restful peace and quiet.

And the man of the house?  Never heard a thing.

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7 Responses to Protect us, St. Patrick

  1. Kristi says:

    Ooh I would hate that! We’re thinking of relocating to a college town ourselves but that may just have to go right onto my “cons” list.

    • Debra says:

      My advice is to not live between the bars and the student housing! On the positive side, there is a lot of talent around here, plenty of low-cost or free university-related things to do, beautiful areas to walk in and explore, and good job opportunities (usually). My recent experience notwithstanding, I recommend college-town living!

  2. sue says:

    Camera in hand would have been good.

  3. How is it that men can sleep through all of that noise??? Maybe you should get a megaphone to scare them all away. Hope you’re feeling better soon!

  4. Kelly Wentling says:

    Oh Debra, what a funny story! I could just picture it all in my mind. Of course, it is funny to us, but maybe after a hopefully good night’s sleep, you will find some humor in it as well. My mind races toward the Looney Tunes and Yosemite Sam! Hope you are feeling better today too.

  5. Chellie says:

    Oh, yeah, a rifle in hand definitely would have made an impression. Likely more in that crowd would have started to urinate–out of fright!

  6. Sally says:

    When I lived closer to campus, on night some kids were causing a ruckus by my townhouse dumpster (right outside my bedroom window). I called the police and complained about the “youths” disturbing the peace. Man did I feel old!!!

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